Some of you may have heard of the newest multicultural project, designed to bring peace to the troubled Middle East. This project, a movie, will discuss the struggles of homosexuals in Muslim countries. Although there is no official release date, and the title–up until now–has been an industry secret, I was pleased and surprised to receive a call from the director, Parvez Sharma. Mr. Sharma (who insisted I call him “Parv”, although it sounds a little different given his accent) has asked me to do a musical soundtrack for the film–and how cool is that, eh? Dude! And my readers will be pleased to know that you are the very first to hear it’s release title: Brokeback Bomber. It is–I can tell you, having attended an early screening–a heartwarming tale, as two aspiring jihadists huddle together for warmth as the flames die down from a nearby car bomb, their eyes meeting in a transfixing and transformative gaze from behind their ski masks, as love among the ruins blossoms, their emotional wires crossed in ways neither could anticipate nor comprehend … but I don’t want to give away the plot, you’ll just have to see it for yourself.

Anyway, I’ve been working on the soundtrack, and have come up with a few artist and song ideas, so I thought I’d run them by my bright and discerning audience to get some feedback, and perhaps a few new ideas. Here’s the list I have so far:

• Shorty was da Bomb by DMX
• Dead Souls by Nine Inch Nails
• The Ski Mask Way by 50 Cent
• You Dropped a Bomb on Me by Kool & the Gang
• Almost Heaven by Los Lonely Boys
• Blowin’ in the Wind by Bob Dylan
• Don’t Fear the Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult
• Pieces of You by Jewel

Feel free to make any other suggestions, and let’s together make this a project we can all be proud of!